Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
