okay pat passed out under dana's car
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
