Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize