i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
