ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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