i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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