And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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