one two three fourrrrnication!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Green mimosas i think yes
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
