Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
