I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
