I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
