this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
