Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I fill condoms, not promises.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I AM VODKA MAN
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
