I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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