no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
