My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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