He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
