Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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