Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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