Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
