In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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