Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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