Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
