turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
