She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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