I think im going to throw up on grandma
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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