walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
