Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
