Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
