I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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