He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The feeling are messing with the penis
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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