Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I checked into jail on foursquare
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Randomize
