I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
