Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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