No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
