We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
