I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
