just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
