My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
