I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I bet he comes in French.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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