..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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