Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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