If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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