Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
