Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
