Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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