Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize