On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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