The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
