i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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