its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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