oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
