spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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