Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
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