I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
